GROW: Daily Wins on the Journey to Manhood

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September is ending. You know what that means? Three months left in 2025. Three months to keep the promises you made to yourself and the young men counting on you.

But here's what I've been thinking about: we spend so much time talking about "becoming a man" like it's some finish line you cross at 18. Or 21. Or when you get married. Or have kids.

That's not how it works.

Becoming isn't a destination. It's a daily decision. A series of small wins that compound over time. A choice you make every morning when your feet hit the floor.

This week, we're diving deep into the daily practices that transform boys into men and men into the kings they're meant to be. We'll explore the science behind habit formation, hear from folks who've walked this path, and discover why the journey matters more than the destination.

Because real men aren't born. They're built. One day at a time.

Growth Spotlight: Becoming Him - From Boys to Men to Kings

I recently came across a story that captures everything about the journey of becoming a man.

A high school coach in Memphis was working with his basketball team when one of his star players, Jerome, came to practice visibly shaken. The night before, Jerome had made a series of poor decisions that led to his arrest. No charges were filed, but his scholarship opportunities were now in jeopardy.

The coach could have benched him, lectured him, or cut him from the team. Instead, he asked Jerome one question: "What kind of man do you want to become?"

That question became the catalyst for Jerome's transformation.

The Becoming Mindset

Most people think manhood is about reaching some magical moment of arrival. You turn 18, graduate, get a job, and suddenly you're a man.

That's not how it works. Manhood isn't a certificate you earn; it's a state of being. It's a practice you commit to on a daily basis.

Dr. Jordan Peterson puts it this way: "You're not the same person you were yesterday, and you're not the person you'll be tomorrow. The question is: are you becoming someone better?"

Research from Stanford University supports this finding: individuals who view personal qualities as development rather than fixed are 47% more likely to achieve their goals.

The Three Pillars of Daily Becoming

Jerome's coach identified three non-negotiables for his transformation:

Responsibility Without Excuses: Jerome had to take full responsibility for his choices. No blaming friends, circumstances, or bad luck. That moment of accountability became the foundation of his life.

Respect That Starts Small: Respect isn't demanded, it's demonstrated. Jerome practiced this with teammates, teachers, and family members. Small moments of respect prepared him for bigger opportunities.

Reflection as Daily Practice: Boys react. Men reflect. Jerome learned to pause before responding, ask better questions, and learn from failures instead of hiding from them.

The 1% Better Principle

James Clear, author of "Atomic Habits," discovered that improving just 1% daily makes you 37 times better after one year.

For Jerome, 1% better meant daily choices:

• Taking responsibility for his mistake

• Having difficult conversations with coaches and family

• Creating accountability systems

• Mentoring younger players

Six months later, Jerome not only retained his scholarship but also became the team captain.

The Compound Effect

Here's what happens when young men commit to daily becoming:

Week 1: Different choices, Month 1: Others notice changes
Month 6: Reputation shifts Year 1: They become leaders, others follow

It's not magic. It's mathematics. Small, consistent actions compound into massive transformations.

The question isn't whether you'll face challenges; the question is whether you'll overcome them. You will. The question is: will you use those challenges to become the man you're meant to be?

Professional Growth Gateway: Teaching Responsibility, Respect, and Reflection

Walk into most high schools and ask students about their post-graduation plans. You'll hear about college applications and career goals.

What you won't hear about are the character traits that determine whether those dreams become reality.

The Character-Career Connection

LinkedIn surveyed 2,000 hiring managers across industries. The results: 89% said they'd rather hire someone with strong character than strong technical skills.

Why? Technical skills can be taught. Character determines whether someone will show up, work through difficulties, and add value to the team.

Yet most young men graduate without understanding how to demonstrate these qualities professionally.

Responsibility in the Real World

Teaching responsibility goes beyond completing assignments on time. It's about ownership, initiative, and follow-through.

Real-World Application:

• Following up on commitments without reminders

• Taking ownership of mistakes rather than deflecting blame

• Going beyond minimum requirements to deliver value

• Communicating proactively about challenges

Teaching Method: Give young men real responsibilities with real consequences. Meaningful projects where their effort directly impacts outcomes.

Respect as Professional Currency

Respect in professional settings means treating others with dignity regardless of their position.

Professional Respect Includes:

• Listening to understand, not just to respond

• Acknowledging contributions from team members

• Handling disagreements without attacking character

• Showing appreciation for guidance and feedback

Teaching Method: Role-play challenging workplace scenarios. Practice receiving constructive criticism. Model how to disagree professionally while maintaining relationships.

Reflection as Competitive Advantage

In a world of instant reactions, the ability to pause and reflect becomes a superpower.

Reflection Skills for Success:

• Learning from failures instead of repeating them

• Seeking feedback and implementing improvements

• Understanding personal strengths and growth areas

• Making decisions based on long-term consequences

Teaching Method: Regular check-ins focused on growth rather than grades. Ask "What did you learn?" instead of "What did you earn?"

The Three-Phase Pipeline

Foundation (Ages 14-16): Basic responsibility, communication skills, understanding consequences

Development (Ages 17-18): Leadership opportunities, professional communication, long-term planning

Launch (Ages 18-21): Workplace readiness, ongoing mentorship, building professional networks

The Bottom Line

Technical training prepares young men for their first job. Character development prepares them for their career.

The young men who understand this distinction are not only more likely to get hired but also to succeed. They get promoted. They become the leaders others want to follow.

Community Corner: Journal Prompts, Reflections, and Testimonials

Building character requires consistent reflection. These tools help young men develop the habit of self-examination that leads to sustainable growth.

Weekly Journal Prompts for Becoming

Monday - Responsibility Check: What commitments did I make last week? Which ones did I keep completely? What would taking full ownership look like instead of making excuses?

Wednesday - Respect Reflection: Who did I show respect to yesterday? When did I struggle to show respect? What specific ways can I demonstrate respect to three different people today?

Friday - Growth Assessment: In what specific way am I 1% better today than I was last month? What challenge am I currently facing, and how can it help me grow stronger?

Daily Reflection Framework: The 3 R's Review

End each day with this five-minute reflection:

Responsibility: What did I own completely today? What did I try to avoid or blame on others?

Respect: How did I treat the people I interacted with? Did my actions match my values?

Reflection: What did I learn about myself today? How can I apply this lesson tomorrow?

Community Challenges

October Challenge: The Accountability Partner System. Find one person committed to growth. Check in daily. Share your 3 R's reflection. Ask the hard questions.

November Challenge: The Service Project. Identify one way to serve your community for 30 days. Track how serving others changes you.

Building Your Support Network

Find Your Five:

• A mentor (someone ahead of you)

• A peer (someone walking alongside you)

• A mentee (someone you're helping guide)

• A challenger (someone who pushes you)

• A supporter (someone who believes in you)

Remember: becoming is not a solo journey. Strong men build strong communities.

Michael's Hot Take: The Silent Crisis We're Not Talking About

Let me ask you something: when was the last time you heard a man talk openly about his mental health struggles without immediately following it up with a joke, a disclaimer, or an apology?

I'll wait.

Here's the thing: We've created this culture where men are supposed to be mentally bulletproof. Where admitting you're struggling is somehow a character flaw instead of a human experience.

And we wonder why the statistics are so brutal.

The Numbers We Can't Ignore

Men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women. Four times. Let that sink in for a minute.

Men are less likely to seek mental health treatment, less likely to have strong social support networks, and more likely to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs when they're struggling.

But sure, let's keep telling young men to "man up" and "tough it out." That's working out really well for us.

The Masculinity Trap

Here's where things get twisted: we've somehow convinced ourselves that mental strength means never admitting mental struggles. That real men don't go to therapy. Asking for help is often seen as a weakness.

This is like saying real athletes never need coaches, trainers, or medical attention. It's not just wrong, it's dangerous.

The strongest men I know are the ones who've done the hard work of understanding their own minds. They've learned to identify their triggers, process their emotions, and build healthy coping strategies.

You know what that takes? Courage. The kind of courage that's actually masculine.

The Vulnerability Paradox

We tell young men they need to be strong, but we define strength in the most limiting way possible. We say strength means never showing weakness, never asking for help, never admitting when you're overwhelmed.

But here's what I've learned: the men who refuse to show vulnerability aren't strong. They're brittle. And brittle things break under pressure.

Real strength looks like this: recognizing when you need help, having the courage to ask for it, and addressing your problems instead of numbing them and having difficult conversations instead of avoiding them.

That's not a weakness. That's wisdom.

The Permission Problem

Too many young men are waiting for permission to take care of their mental health. Permission to see a therapist. Permission to admit they're struggling. Permission to prioritize their well-being.

Here's your permission: you're human. Humans have mental health. Sometimes, mental health needs attention, just as your physical health does.

You wouldn't apologize for seeing a doctor when you're sick. Don't apologize for seeking therapy when you're struggling.

The Community Solution

Mental health isn't just an individual issue; it's a community one. We need to create environments where young men can be honest about their struggles without judgment.

That means:

• Checking in on your friends beyond surface-level conversations

• Normalizing therapy the same way we normalize going to the gym

• Teaching emotional intelligence alongside physical strength

• Modeling vulnerability in our own lives

The Bottom Line

Mental health is health. Period.

We wouldn't tell someone with a broken leg to walk it off. We shouldn't tell someone with depression or anxiety to think positive thoughts.

The young men who understand this don't just survive, they thrive. They build stronger relationships. They make better decisions. They become the kind of men others look up to.

And maybe, just maybe, they help save some lives along the way.

If you're struggling, there's no shame in getting help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 988. Crisis Text Line is available by texting HOME to 741741.

Real men take care of their mental health. It's time we started acting like it.

Ready to begin your becoming journey? Join A Few Good MENtors as a mentee, volunteer mentor, or share this newsletter with a young man ready to start making daily choices that matter.

Together, we're proving that real men aren't born - they're built. One choice at a time. One day at a time. One young man at a time.

Do you have a story about your own journey of becoming? Questions about our mentoring programs? Reply to this newsletter - we read every response and often feature community stories in future issues.