GROW: Fourth Quarter Fatherhood

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Issue #103 - September 23, 2025

Welcome back, G-Tribe!

For our new subscribers joining us this week: welcome to G.R.O.W. — where Guidance Redefines Our Way. This is the weekly newsletter from A Few Good MENtors, and you're now part of the G-Tribe.

Football season is in full swing. College stadiums are packed with 100,000 screaming fans. The NFL is serving up drama every Sunday.

But here's what I noticed this week: watching coaches on the sidelines during these games reveals something about mentorship that goes way beyond the scoreboard.

The best coaches don't just develop players. They develop people.

They understand that the young men in their care will forget most of the plays they ran. But they'll never forget the lessons about character, resilience, and brotherhood that happened between the lines.

This week, we're exploring what football teaches us about fatherhood and mentorship, how sports discipline translates to life success, and why some coaches create an impact that lasts decades after the final whistle.

Because the real MVPs don't just win games. They mentor champions.

Let's break some huddles, G-Tribe.

🌱 Growth Spotlight: What Football Teaches Us About Fatherhood & Mentorship

Last week, as I was watching my Miami Dolphins lose once again, I noticed something exciting from New England Patriots coach Mike Vrabel. Many of you may have seen this photo of the head coach, Mike Vrabel, running alongside Antonio Gibson as he raced down the sideline on a 90-yard kick return for a touchdown. It wasn't just excitement; it was leadership in action. Great leaders don't only call plays from the sidelines; they run alongside their teams, encouraging, celebrating, and sharing the moment every step of the way. It beautifully illustrates that leadership is often found in the moments we show up beside others.

That image stuck with me because it captures something essential about mentoring young men. The best coaches—and the best fathers—don't just give instructions from a distance. They get in the trenches. They run alongside. They share the victories and the defeats.

Coach Vrabel could have stayed put on the sideline, clipboard in hand, watching from his position of authority. Instead, he chose to be part of the moment. He decided to celebrate with his players rather than acknowledge their success.

That's the difference between management and mentorship.

The Father-Coach Connection

Football coaches understand something that every father and mentor should understand: young men learn best when they feel supported, not criticized.

Watch any successful high school or college coach work with struggling players. They don't tear them down in front of their teammates. They pull them aside. They teach. They encourage. They hold them accountable with love, not shame.

Coach Dabo Swinney at Clemson has built his entire program around this principle. He calls his players "sons" and means it. When players graduate, they don't just get a degree; they get a father figure who continues supporting them through life's challenges.

"I coach them like they're my own children," Swinney says. "Because for four years, that's exactly what they are."

Lessons from the Playbook of Fatherhood

The parallels between coaching and fathering are striking. Both require patience, consistency, and the ability to see potential even when performance falls short.

Teaching Through Failure: Great coaches know that fumbles and interceptions are learning moments, not reasons for punishment. They help players analyze what went wrong, adjust their approach, and get back in the game stronger.

The same applies to fathering. When your son comes home with a failed test or makes a poor decision, that's your coaching moment. The question isn't whether he'll mess up, it's how you'll help him learn from it.

Building Team Chemistry: Football teams succeed when players put the group above individual glory. Coaches spend countless hours teaching players to trust each other, communicate effectively, and sacrifice personal stats for team wins.

Fathers and mentors can apply this same principle. We're teaching young men to be team players in their families, schools, and communities. We're showing them that real strength comes from lifting others, not putting them down.

Preparing for the Next Level: Every high school coach knows that only a small percentage of their players will continue playing in college. But they coach every player as if they're bound for the NFL.

Why? Because the discipline, work ethic, and mental toughness developed on the football field will serve them well in whatever career they choose.

The Fourth Quarter Principle

Here's what separates championship coaches from average ones: they understand that the fourth quarter is when character gets tested.

When the game is on the line, when fatigue sets in, when the crowd is against you, that's when you discover what someone is really made of.

Great coaches prepare their players for these moments all season long. They create pressure situations in practice. They teach players to stay calm when everything is falling apart. They build mental toughness alongside physical strength.

The same principle applies to raising young men. Life will test them in ways we can't predict. Our job is to prepare them for those fourth-quarter moments when their character will determine their outcome.

Real Talk About Competition

Football teaches young men how to compete with honor. They learn to shake hands with opponents after the game, regardless of the outcome. They realize that you can play hard and still show respect.

In a culture that often confuses aggression with strength, sports teach the difference between being tough and being a bully. The best athletes learn to control their emotions, channel their energy, and compete with class.

These lessons translate directly to life. Young men who learn to compete honorably in sports carry that integrity into their careers, relationships, and communities.

The Mentorship Multiplier Effect

Here's what I've noticed about former football players: they often become the best mentors in their communities.

They understand teamwork. They know how to handle pressure. They've learned from failure and bounced back from defeat. Most importantly, they've experienced what it means to have a coach believe in them when they didn't believe in themselves.

These men become the coaches, teachers, and mentors who pass those lessons to the next generation. They create a multiplier effect that extends far beyond any individual game or season.

The quarterback who learned perseverance from his high school coach becomes the manager who never gives up on struggling employees. The linebacker who learned discipline becomes the father who sets clear boundaries with love.

That's the real power of sports mentorship. It doesn't end when the final whistle blows; it echoes through generations.

Just like Coach Vrabel running alongside Antonio Gibson, the best mentors don't stay on the sidelines of young men's lives. They get in the game. They run alongside. They celebrate the victories and help navigate the defeats.

That's what creates champions on the field and in life.

💼 Professional Growth Gateway: Discipline, Teamwork, and Taking the Hits

Walk into any corporate boardroom in America, and you'll find something interesting: many of the most successful executives have athletic backgrounds. They played football, basketball, or baseball in high school or college.

This isn't a coincidence.

The disciplines required for athletic success translate directly to professional achievement. Young men who learn to handle pressure on the field carry that composure into high-stakes business situations.

The Three Key Advantages

Discipline and Delayed Gratification: Athletes understand what it means to sacrifice immediate pleasures for long-term goals. They've experienced the connection between consistent daily effort and eventual success.

Former NFL linebacker Ray Lewis puts it this way: "Football taught me that success is never about the big moments. It's about doing the small things right, every single day, when nobody is watching."

Teamwork Under Pressure: When you've been in a huddle with ten other guys, all depending on you to do your job so the play succeeds, you understand teamwork at a visceral level. You know that individual talent means nothing without collective execution.

Former athletes understand that their success depends on everyone else's success. They've experienced the satisfaction that comes from team victories.

Resilience Through Failure: Athletes fail constantly. They miss shots, drop passes, and lose games. But they learn to get back up, analyze what went wrong, and try again.

Tom Brady was famously drafted 199th overall—meaning 198 players were considered better prospects. He used that rejection as fuel for a career that many consider the greatest in NFL history.

The Competitive Edge

Athletes don't fear challenges—they seek them out. They know that competing against stronger opponents makes them stronger.

This mindset creates professionals who embrace difficult projects, volunteer for challenging assignments, and thrive in competitive markets.

The quarterback who learned to read defenses becomes the executive who anticipates market changes. The point guard who managed the game flow becomes the manager who coordinates complex projects.

The lessons learned between the lines become the foundation for success in every area of life.

🌟 Success Spotlight: Coach Quincy Avery - Developing Champions Beyond the Scoreboard

Most people know Quincy Avery as the quarterback guru who helped develop Deshaun Watson, Tua Tagovailoa, and Justin Fields into NFL stars. What few people understand is how Avery has revolutionized the way we think about developing young men through sports.

At his QB Country training facility in Georgia, Avery doesn't just teach quarterbacks how to throw tighter spirals or read coverages. He teaches them how to be leaders, communicators, and men of character.

Beyond the X's and O's

After his own playing career at Northeastern University ended, Avery found his true calling: developing the next generation of leaders through the quarterback position.

"I realized that my purpose wasn't to be the quarterback," Avery explains. "It was to help create quarterbacks who would impact their teams and communities in ways I never could."

What sets Avery apart is his holistic approach. His quarterbacks learn advanced mechanics and mental processing, but they also learn emotional intelligence, public speaking, and community leadership.

The Leadership Laboratory

Walk through a training session at QB Country, and you'll see quarterbacks practicing difficult conversations after working on footwork. They role-play scenarios where they need to hold teammates accountable or address conflicts within the team.

"Most young quarterbacks are naturally talented," Avery notes. "What they lack is the leadership skills to maximize that talent and bring out the best in everyone around them."

The Ripple Effect

Avery's impact extends beyond individual success stories. Many of his former students have become coaches themselves, spreading his leadership-focused approach throughout football programs across the country.

Justin Fields regularly returns to QB Country to work with younger quarterbacks. "Coach Avery taught me that being a quarterback isn't about being the star," Fields explains. "It's about making everyone else look like stars."

Building Character Under Pressure

One of Avery's signature methods involves creating high-pressure situations that test character as much as skill. But the scenarios aren't just about football—they mirror real-life situations where young men need to maintain their integrity under pressure.

"Football is going to end for all of these young men eventually," Avery says. "My job is to prepare them for the pressures they'll face in business, relationships, and life."

The legacy Quincy Avery is building extends far beyond championship rings and NFL draft picks. He's creating a generation of leaders who understand that true success is measured by the positive impact you have on others.

🔥 Michael's Hot Take: Real MVPs Don't Just Win, They Mentor

I need to get something off my chest about this whole "winning is everything" culture that's infected youth sports and pretty much everything else in our society these days.

You know what's interesting? We're living in a time where grown adults can't have a civil conversation about politics without screaming at each other, where social media has turned everyone into their own personal PR team, and where accountability seems to have gone the way of common courtesy. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that we've managed to bring this same toxic energy to 12-year-old basketball games.

But here I am, surprised anyway.

The Numbers Don't Lie (Unlike Politicians)

Here's what the experts are telling us: 70% of youth athletes quit sports by age 13 because of burnout, lack of enjoyment, and pressure to perform. Think about that for a second. We're driving kids away from the very activities that could teach them the most valuable life lessons.

77% of young athletes say their coach's attitude directly impacts their confidence. Meanwhile, 60% of parents feel coaches don't prioritize teaching life skills.

So we have coaches destroying kids' confidence while parents watch it happen, knowing something's wrong but feeling powerless to stop it. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Kind of like watching the news.

The Real Problem

We've created a sports culture where winning games matters more than winning at life. Where championships count more than character. Where trophies are valued over teaching moments.

And we're failing our young men because of it.

Mike Kayes, a basketball coach with 29 years of experience, gets it right. When a parent asked him how he'd measure the success of his season, he answered honestly: "I will know we had a successful season when these guys grow up to be amazing fathers and husbands."

All the moms in the room smiled. Not quite all the dads.

See, here's the thing that some people seem to forget: most of the young men playing sports today will never play professionally. They won't get college scholarships. They won't make money from their athletic abilities.

What they will carry are the lessons they learned from sports into their careers, relationships, and communities for the next 60 years.

So the question becomes: what lessons are we teaching them?

My Reality Check

When I coached my son's AAU basketball team and youth baseball team, I had a choice to make every single practice and game. I could focus on the scoreboard, or I could focus on the young men in front of me.

I chose the young men.

Did we win some games? Sure. Did we lose some? Absolutely. But here's what I learned: when you prioritize character development over winning, something interesting happens. The kids start playing with each other instead of by themselves. They learn that real strength comes from lifting others up, not putting them down.

Years later, what I'm most proud of isn't our record. It's watching those young men carry those lessons into their high school teams, their part-time jobs, and their relationships with their families. Character development has a compound effect that no trophy case can measure.

The Mentorship Deficit Crisis

Here's the problem: we have coaches engaging in verbal and emotional abuse, showing favoritism, lacking communication, resisting change, and avoiding accountability.

We have thousands of youth sports programs across America, but we have a massive shortage of actual mentors running them. Too many coaches are using young men to validate their own need for success instead of using success to validate young men.

Preston Junger, who has observed nearly 100 coaches over the years, estimates that only 10% of them excel in the critical role of building players up and helping them become the best version of themselves.

Ten percent.

In a functioning society, that would be considered a crisis. In our current culture, it's apparently just another day.

The Character Question

Every school should ask coaching candidates this simple question: "Why do you want to coach?"

If the candidate doesn't answer "to build character," they shouldn't be hired.

But here's the thing: in a culture where character seems optional (turn on any news channel for evidence), we shouldn't be shocked that youth sports coaches are struggling with the concept, too.

Dr. Pete Paciorek from IMG Academy asks the right question: "What are we prioritizing most as coaches? Is the long-term development of character more important each day than the wins and losses?"

What Champions Really Look Like

I've been mentoring young men for over a decade, and I can tell you this with certainty: the ones who become true champions aren't always the ones who won the most games.

They're the ones who learned how to pick up teammates when they fell. They're the ones who discovered that real strength means protecting people who are weaker. They're the ones who figured out that leadership is about service, not authority.

These young men go on to become the fathers who build up their children instead of tearing them down. They become managers who develop their employees, rather than exploiting them. They become the community leaders who lift others up instead of climbing over them.

That's what championship character looks like. That's the kind of success that matters decades after trophies gather dust.

The Bottom Line

Research shows that a focus on winning at all costs tends to hinder character development, while an emphasis on character development will, over time, produce winning teams.

Here's my challenge to every coach reading this: twenty years from now, when your players are fathers and professionals and community leaders, what will they remember about their time playing for you?

Will they remember your win-loss record? Or will they remember the life lessons that helped them become the men they were meant to be?

In a world where character seems to be in short supply from our sports fields to our highest offices, maybe it's time we started keeping score of what really counts.

The real MVPs don't just win games. They mentor champions. They understand that their most important victories happen long after the final whistle blows, in the lives of the young men they had the privilege to coach.

That's the kind of impact that lasts. That's the kind of legacy that matters.

Maybe it's time we started demanding that from our coaches. And while we're at it, maybe from our leaders too.

Ready to coach the next generation? Join A Few Good MENtors as a volunteer, mentor, or forward this newsletter to a coach who understands that real champions are made in the heart, not just on the scoreboard.

Together, we're proving that the best victories happen when young men learn to lift each other up.

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