October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Here's how real men show up for the women and men in their lives who face this fight.

Welcome Back, G-Tribe!

October 14, 2025 | Issue #106

Last week, we celebrated six years of A Few Good MENtors. Six years of building character. Six years of exploring what it means to lead with integrity.

This week, we're putting that integrity to the test.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. You've seen the pink ribbons. You've heard the statistics. But here's what you might not have considered: what does brotherhood look like when someone you care about faces breast cancer?

For our mentees, this matters. Your mother, sister, girlfriend, wife, or friend will face a health crisis at some point. Maybe they already have. And when that moment comes, will you know how to show up?

Real men don't run from hard moments. They lean in.

This issue explores what it means to be present when the people in your life face breast cancer. We're talking about practical support, professional leadership during health crises, and male advocates who changed the conversation around this disease.

Because supporting someone through breast cancer isn't about having all the answers. It's about being there when it matters most.

Growth Spotlight: “Real Men Show Up: Supporting Survivors in Our Circle”

When a man you love, your brother, father, friend, mentee, is touched by breast cancer (or any serious illness), it’s easy to freeze. We don’t always know what to say. We fear saying the wrong thing, triggering more pain, or being misunderstood. But integrity in brotherhood means showing up anyway.

Why showing up matters

• Isolation compounds suffering. Many men with breast cancer say the hardest part is loneliness; there are few resources, few stories that look like them, and a general societal blindness.

• Presence is a language. Sometimes words fail, but sitting in silence, offering to do simple tasks, or sending daily check-ins communicates far more than we think.

• It sets a cultural example. When men lean in—with compassion, humility, and consistency, they challenge stereotypes about masculinity and care.

How to show up (practical steps)

A story to learn from

Jake, a husband, father, and grandfather, was shocked when he was diagnosed with Stage 4 male breast cancer. He recounted how early material he encountered always addressed women never men making the journey feel isolating.

But instead of going silent, Jake began sharing his story publicly, pushing awareness that men have breasts, too. He’s now become a voice for many whose struggles were invisible.

Kirby Lewis is another example. After his diagnosis (and recurrence), he found few existing resources for men and became an advocate, speaking about recurrence risk, survivorship, and the need for male-specific programs.

Their stories teach us: showing up is not always about grand gestures. Sometimes it’s telling the truth, leaning into discomfort, and being present over time.

Integrity check: Are we avoiding shame or guilt?

As mentors and leaders, we must guard against making survivors feel guilty for needing help or feeling weak. Our role is to uphold dignity, empower choice, and never shame.

Takeaway: This month, choose one person in your circle whom you will "show up" for. Send a message, make a visit, offer help. Let your presence be a living message of integrity.

Professional Growth Gateway: Leading with Empathy During Health Crises

Leaders are often judged not by how well they lead in smooth times, but how they lead when storms hit. When illness or personal crisis surfaces in our teams, congregations, or families, do we turn away or lean toward?

Why empathy matters in crisis

• In catalytic research, empathy is strongly linked to greater inclusion, engagement, and retention, especially during trauma or uncertainty.

• Empathic leadership is increasingly studied and recognized as a critical skill, not a “nice to have.”

• In healthcare and crisis contexts, leaders who balance clear communication with emotional intelligence maintain trust and cohesion.

Key principles of empathic crisis leadership

1. Own your humanity, then lead from it
   Share honestly what you don’t know. Admit your vulnerability. That opens space for others to do the same.

2. Communicate with clarity, transparency, and compassion
   In crisis, people crave truth, even if it’s hard. Avoid jargon; speak from the heart.

3. Prioritize psychological safety
   Create environments where people feel safe to express concerns, fears, or confusion. Research shows such environments foster innovation and resilience.

4. Balance empathy with accountability
   Listening is essential, but recovery also requires action. Ask, “What support do you need?” and then follow through.

5. Sustain presence over time
   A crisis doesn’t end with the first surge. Good leaders stay consistent in attention, not just for the dramatic moments.

Application in health-related settings

• In a congregation or nonprofit, when a leader or member receives a diagnosis, a leader might pause the regular agenda to check in personally, coordinate pastoral care, or temporarily shift roles with dignity.

• In a business setting, a manager might allow flexible work arrangements, encourage medical leave, or compassionately redistribute responsibilities.

• In mentoring relationships, noticing changes (energy, mood, attendance) and naming them (“I sensed you’ve been quiet these days—if you're open, I’m here”) can open space for deeper conversation.

Real-world model

Empathic leadership is not soft; it is strategic. Leaders who leverage empathy in crisis build loyalty, psychological safety, and deeper trust. In turn, those qualities help teams innovate, heal, and rebound.

Takeaway: Whether you lead a team, a ministry, or your home circle, this month, commit to one tangible act of empathetic leadership: listening, reaching out, restructuring expectations, or naming the pain.

Success Spotlight: Leaders Who Chose Integrity Over Popularity

History remembers leaders who chose character over convenience. These three real-life stories prove a timeless truth: integrity always wins.

Matthew Zachary: Redefining Young Adult Cancer

At 21, Matthew Zachary was given six months to live. Terminal brain cancer. As a concert pianist at Binghamton University, he faced a choice: let the diagnosis end his life or redefine it.

He chose redefinition.

Zachary not only survived, he thrived. In 2007, he founded Stupid Cancer, which became the largest young adult cancer community in the world. Over 13 years, the organization raised $14 million, changed health policy, and pushed hundreds of companies to include fertility coverage for young adult cancer patients.

Zachary didn’t have breast cancer. But his advocacy changed the system for everyone—including survivors far outside his diagnosis.

His story proves this: You don’t need to have the disease to make a difference. You just need to care enough to show up.

Matt Bowman: A Nurse Who Never Stopped Fighting

Matt Bowman was a registered nurse and volunteer fire department lieutenant in Vincennes, Indiana, when he was diagnosed with male breast cancer in 2017.

Instead of hiding, he stepped forward. Bowman became a visible, tireless advocate volunteering at health fairs, appearing on local news, and pressing hospitals to include information about male breast cancer in their materials.

In 2021, the cancer returned. This time, it spread to his lungs. He passed away at 49.

But his mission lives on. His mother now leads the Matthew Bowman Breast Cancer Research Fund at Indiana University, continuing his push for awareness and early detection.

Bowman’s story reminds us: advocacy isn’t comfortable. But it’s necessary.

Patricia Washburn: Driving the Message Forward

When Marlyn Washburn was diagnosed with breast cancer, he and his wife Patricia were blindsided. He passed away just five months later, in 2017.

But Patricia wasn’t done fighting.

She transformed their vehicle into a rolling billboard—the Marlyn Mobile. Both sides display the message: “Breast Cancer Does NOT Discriminate” in pink, and “MEN TOO” in bold blue. The hood carries Marlyn’s photo.

Since then, she’s driven over 75,000 miles across America, connecting with more than 50 male survivors and their families—sharing stories, sparking awareness, and saving lives.

One woman. One car. Thousands of conversations that wouldn’t have happened without her courage.

What These Leaders Teach Us

Zachary, Bowman, and Washburn didn’t wait for permission. They saw a gap—and stepped into it with boldness, purpose, and compassion.

You can do the same.

Support doesn’t require a medical degree. It requires presence.
Advocacy doesn’t need a platform. It needs consistency.
Making a difference isn’t about titles. It’s about showing up.

Every October, social media fills with pink ribbons. Most of them disappear on November 1st. But the real advocates? They show up year-round.

So ask yourself: Which kind will you be?

Community Corner: Men Wear Pink Day | October 25th

On Friday, October 25th, AFGM is proudly participating in the nationwide Men Wear Pink Day to raise awareness about breast cancer, especially the fact that yes, men get it too. This simple but powerful act of wearing pink sends a message: we see the fight, we stand with survivors, and we believe awareness saves lives.

For many people, pink is more than a color. It represents the journey of a loved one, the memory of someone lost, or the personal courage to face the unknown. But in too many conversations, men are left out of the breast cancer narrative—either as survivors or as supporters. Not this year.

By wearing pink, you're breaking the silence. You're honoring the women AND men affected by breast cancer. And you're showing the young men in your circle that real men support real causes.

Here's how to join us:

Wear pink on Friday, October 25th: A shirt, tie, hoodie, socks, or anything bold and visible

Snap a photo (solo or with your team, class, family, or friends). Bonus if you're at school, work, mentoring, or in the community!

Please post it on Instagram or Facebook, Tag @AFGMentoring, and use the hashtag #MenWearPinkAFGM.

In your caption, tell us why you chose to wear pink. It could be in honor of a survivor, in memory of someone, or to show solidarity.

Not on social media? Email your photo and a short message to [email protected], and we'll feature it in our story highlights and next month's recap.

Let's flood the timeline with integrity in action. One picture can spark a conversation. One post can inspire someone to get screened. One act of courage can change the culture.

Show up. Wear pink. Be counted.

Michael's Hot Take: When the Statistics Hit Home

Breast cancer among women under 50 has increased by nearly 40% in the last decade.

Let that sink in. Not 4%. Forty percent.

The American Cancer Society reports that breast cancer is now the leading cause of cancer death in women ages 20 to 49 in the United States. Younger women. Women building careers. Raising families. Living full lives. And the numbers keep climbing.

I read these statistics differently than most people. My mother died of ovarian cancer in 1998. I was young. I watched cancer steal someone I loved. I know what it looks like when a family faces the unthinkable.

So when I see these rising numbers, I don't see statistics. I see mothers. Sisters. Daughters. Friends.

The System Is Broken

Here's what makes this even more frustrating: we're living in a time when accessing quality healthcare has become a political punchline.

The government just shut down. Again. Because apparently, keeping the lights on and ensuring people can access basic services is too complicated for our elected officials to figure out.

Meanwhile, health insurance premiums under the Affordable Care Act continue to rise. The law was supposed to make healthcare affordable. The name is right there in the title. Yet families are paying more than ever for coverage that often doesn't cover what they need when they need it.

And while politicians argue about budgets and blame each other on cable news, women under 50 are getting diagnosed with aggressive breast cancers at rates we've never seen before.

What This Means for Young Women

The article I read this week laid it out clearly. Younger women face unique challenges. Denser breast tissue makes early detection harder. Cancers tend to be more aggressive. Tumors are often larger by the time they're found.

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force now recommends that women start getting mammograms at age 40 rather than 50. That's progress. But it's not enough if women can't afford the screenings. Or if they can't take time off work. Or if their insurance denies follow-up care.

Early detection saves lives. But early detection requires access. And access requires a healthcare system that works for people, not against them.

Why This Matters to AFGM

A Few Good MENtors exists to build character in young men. Part of that character is understanding that showing up matters.

Your mother, sister, girlfriend, or friend might be part of that 40% increase. She might notice something wrong and ignore it because she's worried about the cost. She might delay getting screened because she doesn't have time. She might face a diagnosis alone because people around her don't know how to help.

You can change that.

Show up. Ask questions. Drive her to appointments. Learn what she needs. Be present when it's uncomfortable.

We can't fix the broken healthcare system overnight. We can't lower premiums or reopen the government with a phone call. But we can control how we show up for the people in our lives.

The Real Work

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Pink ribbons are everywhere. Social media is flooded with posts. That's fine. Awareness matters.

But awareness without action is just noise.

Here's the action: if you're a woman under 50, advocate for yourself. If something feels wrong, push for follow-up care. Don't let anyone dismiss your concerns because you're "too young" for breast cancer.

If you're a man who cares about the women in your life, be the person who shows up. Not just in October. All year. Every year.

And if you're angry about a healthcare system that makes it harder for people to get the care they need, channel that anger into something useful. Vote. Volunteer. Support organizations that provide free screenings. Do something.

Six years ago, we started AFGM with one core value: integrity. Integrity means doing the right thing even when it costs you something. Even when it's inconvenient. Even when the system is broken and the statistics are terrifying.

Show up anyway.

That's what real men do.

Ready to Build Your Legacy?

Join A Few Good MENtors as a mentee and learn what it means to show up when it matters most.

Volunteer as a mentor and teach young men the power of being present.

Share this newsletter with someone who needs to hear that showing up is enough.

Real men don't run from hard moments. They lean in. One choice at a time. One day at a time. One person at a time.

Here's to showing up when it matters most.