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Issue #101 - September 9
Welcome Back, G-Tribe!
I sure do miss long weekends like Labor Day weekend last week. While most of us were flipping burgers and pretending we knew how to operate a grill, I spent some time thinking about what Labor Day actually represents beyond the unofficial end of summer.
Here we are at Issue #101, still riding the wave of gratitude from our 100th milestone. For our new readers joining us, GROW stands for Guidance Redefines Our Way, and subscribing makes you a certified member of the G-Tribe community.
Let's talk about something that connects every single person reading this newsletter: work. Not just the job you do to pay bills, but the deeper question of what kind of work actually matters. Because here's what I've learned after years of mentoring young men and working for the federal government for over 36 years: the difference between having a job and doing work worth doing isn't about the paycheck or the prestige. It's about understanding that your labor creates your legacy.
This week, we're exploring how to help young men discover their calling, not just their career. How to find mentors in unexpected places. And why some of the most important leadership lessons come from the most ordinary jobs.
Let's explore work that builds more than bank accounts.
🌱 Growth Spotlight: Hard Work vs. Purpose Work - Finding the Balance
Last month, I read a story about two guys who couldn't have looked more different on paper, but their differences stopped me in my tracks.
Marcus, 28, works as a data analyst for a Fortune 500 company. Six-figure salary, corner cubicle, benefits package that makes grown people leap with joy. By every conventional measure, he's crushing it.
Tony, 31, owns a small landscaping business with three employees. He gets up at 5 AM, works with his hands all day, and drives a 12-year-old pickup truck. Makes about half what Marcus makes in his best year.
But here's what fascinated me. Marcus spent twenty minutes explaining why he felt empty despite his success. Tony spent five minutes describing why he looks forward to Monday mornings.
The Hard Work Trap
We've sold young men a story that goes like this: work hard, get good grades, land a good job, make good money, live a good life. It's a clean formula that makes parents proud and guidance counselors confident.
The problem is that this formula confuses hard work with purposeful work.
Marcus works incredibly hard, with sixty-hour workweeks, complex projects, and constant pressure to perform. But when he was asked what problem his work solves or who benefits from what he creates, he paused for a long time.
"I help the company analyze market trends to maximize revenue efficiency," he finally said, sounding like he was reading from a job description.
Tony's answer was different. "I make spaces where families want to spend time together. Last week, I finished a backyard for a couple who hadn't been able to use their outdoor space because it was overgrown. Now their kids play out there every evening."
Same question. Completely different energy in the response.
The Purpose Work Framework
After five years of these conversations, I've noticed that young men who find satisfaction in their work usually align their efforts around three core elements:
Problem-Focused Impact: They can clearly describe what problem their work solves and who benefits from the solution. It doesn't have to be world-changing - it just has to be real.
Tony solves the problem of unusable outdoor spaces. A teacher solves the problem of uninformed minds. A mechanic solves the problem of broken vehicles. A nurse solves the problem of human suffering.
The specific problem matters less than understanding that your daily efforts address something meaningful.
Skills That Energize Rather Than Drain. Purpose work leverages what you're naturally good at in ways that energize rather than exhaust you.
Marcus is brilliant with data analysis, but corporate politics drains his energy faster than his work can refill it. Tony discovered he has an eye for design and enjoys physical problem-solving; landscaping lets him use both.
When work aligns with natural strengths, even challenging days feel manageable.
Values Alignment Over Value Creation. This is the big one. Purpose work lets you live your values through your daily actions, not just talk about them on weekends.
If you value creativity, your work should have creative elements. If you value helping people, your work should involve genuine service. If you value building things, your work should create something tangible.
Values misalignment is why successful people feel empty. They're creating financial value while violating personal values.
Practical Steps for Young Men Seeking Purpose Work
Start with Problems, Not Passions. Instead of asking "What am I passionate about?" ask "What problems do I notice that need solving?" Problems are everywhere. Passion can be developed.
Experiment Before Committing: Volunteer, shadow professionals, take on side projects. You can't know if work fits until you try it in real conditions.
Evaluate Energy, Not Just Income Track which activities energize you and which drain you. Money can't compensate for work that consistently depletes your energy.
Find Mentors in the Field: Connect with professionals in the field you're interested in. Most professionals love talking about their work with genuinely interested young people.
Key Questions for Career Exploration
What problems do you notice that frustrate you?
Which of your current skills could help solve those problems?
Who is already doing work you respect, and how did they get there?
What kind of work environment brings out your best performance?
How important is financial security versus daily satisfaction?
The goal isn't finding perfect work, that doesn't exist. The goal is to find work that leverages your strengths to tackle problems you care about, aligning with the values you want to live by.
That combination creates the kind of career satisfaction that sustains decades of effort without burning out.
💼 Professional Growth Gateway: Helping Youth Discover Vocation Over Just a Job
As we explored in the Growth Spotlight, the difference between Marcus and Tony wasn't their work ethic - it was their understanding of purpose. This brings up something that bothers me about career guidance in schools today. We spend months teaching young people how to write resumes and practice interview skills, but almost no time helping them understand what kind of work would actually fit their unique combination of strengths, interests, and values.
It's like teaching someone to fish without helping them figure out what kind of fish they want to catch or where to find the right fishing spots.
The Vocation vs. Job Distinction
A job is something you do for money. A vocation is something you do because it fits who you are and what you care about. The word "vocation" comes from the Latin "vocare," meaning "to call." It implies that certain kinds of work call to certain kinds of people.
Young men need help discovering their vocation, not just landing their first job.
The Exploration Framework for Mentors
Phase 1: Strength Recognition (Months 1-2) Help young men identify what they're naturally good at, not just what they've been told they should pursue.
Use practical observation: "I notice you always volunteer to organize group projects. You seem to enjoy bringing order to chaos."
Connect strengths to real applications: "That organizing skill is valuable in project management, event planning, logistics, and operations roles."
Phase 2: Problem Awareness (Months 2-3) Guide them to notice problems they're naturally drawn to solving.
Ask specific questions: "What frustrates you about how things work in your school, community, or family?"
Explore their responses: "What would it look like if that problem were solved? Who would benefit?"
Phase 3: Values Clarification (Months 3-4) Help them identify what matters most to them in how they spend their time.
Use scenarios: "Would you rather work alone or with others? Indoors or outdoors? With your hands or with information?"
Connect values to work environments: "If you value helping people directly, customer service roles might energize you more than behind-the-scenes work."
Phase 4: Exploration Planning (Months 4-6) Develop structured methods for students to test their hypotheses about potential vocations.
Arrange informational interviews with professionals in fields that interest them.
Set up job shadowing opportunities or volunteer roles that expose them to different work environments.
Encourage side projects that allow them to experiment with the skills they want to develop.
The AFGM Vocation Discovery Series
This is something I'm excited to pilot and implement through A Few Good MENtors. I envision a structured approach to vocation discovery that moves beyond traditional career counseling:
The Reality Check Series aims to create opportunities for young men to spend full days with professionals in different fields, not just observing, but participating in real work tasks. They would experience what the work actually feels like, not just what it looks like from the outside.
The Skills-to-Service Connection: We would help young men identify how their existing skills could serve others. The kid who's good at video games might discover an interest in software development or digital media production.
The Values-Work Alignment Assessment. Through structured conversations, practical exercises, and proven assessment tools like DISC (which I'm certified to administer), we would help young men clarify what kind of work environment brings out their best performance and highest satisfaction.
Practical Tools for Mentors
The Daily Energy Audit will have young men track which activities energize them and which drain them over two weeks. Patterns reveal natural strengths and work preferences.
The Problem-Solving Inventory: Ask them to list five problems they notice in their daily life and brainstorm three possible solutions for each. Their natural problem-solving patterns reveal potential vocational areas.
The Role Model Analysis: Have them identify three adults whose work they respect and interview those people about their career paths. Most vocations have multiple entry points and development routes.
The Skills Translation Exercise helps them connect current skills to professional applications. Leadership in sports translates to management. Artistic ability translates to design or marketing. Problem-solving in math translates to engineering or finance.
Creating Vocation-Focused Communities
My vision includes connecting young men with networks of professionals who can provide ongoing guidance and opportunities.
This means building relationships with business owners, trade professionals, educators, and service providers who are willing to invest time in the young men's vocational discovery process.
When young men have access to multiple adult perspectives on work and career development, they make better-informed decisions about their professional future.
The goal isn't pushing young men toward specific careers - it's helping them develop the self-awareness and exploration skills they need to find work that fits who they are and who they want to become.
Want to Help?
If you're interested in supporting or participating in this vocation discovery initiative, I'd love to hear from you. Whether you're a professional willing to mentor, a business owner who could provide exploration opportunities, or someone with ideas about how to make this vision a reality, reach out to me at [email protected]. Let's work together to help young men find their calling, not just their first paycheck.
🔥 Michael's Hot Take: What My First Job Taught Me About Leadership
Before I ever thought about mentoring young men or starting newsletters or building organizations, I learned the most important lessons about leadership from the most unlikely place: the Cleveland Heights Library on Lee Road in the suburbs of my hometown in Cleveland Heights, Ohio.
I was 16 years old, needed money for important things like sports cards, music albums, and hanging out with friends. I figured working at a library would be quiet, easy, and involve mostly checking out books to nice people who whispered.
I was wrong about almost everything.
Lesson #1: Showing Up Is Half the Battle
The head librarian made one thing clear during my first week: "Michael, I don't care if you're the smartest person who ever walked through these doors. If you can't show up on time consistently, nothing else matters."
She was right, but not for the reasons I expected.
Showing up on time wasn't just about following rules; it was about proving to myself that I could make commitments and keep them. Every day I walked through those library doors on time, I was building evidence that I was someone who could be trusted with responsibility.
That sounds dramatic for a part-time library job, but here's what I discovered: reliability is the foundation that everything else is built on. If people can't count on you to show up, they'll never trust you with anything that really matters.
Lesson #2: Books Were Just the Beginning
I thought working at a library meant organizing books and checking them out to people. What I actually learned was that libraries are community centers where people come with problems, questions, frustrations, and hopes.
The elderly man who came in every Tuesday wasn't just looking for large-print mysteries - he was lonely and wanted someone to talk to about the books he'd read.
The high school student who spent every afternoon at the computer terminals wasn't just browsing the internet; she was applying for colleges and needed help navigating financial aid websites.
The mother with three young children wasn't just looking for picture books; she was trying to find educational activities that wouldn't cost money she didn't have.
I learned that leadership often looks like paying attention to what people actually need, not just what they're asking for.
Lesson #3: Customer Service Is Life Skills Training
Here's what nobody tells you about customer service: it's basically a crash course in human psychology, conflict resolution, and emotional intelligence.
I dealt with frustrated parents whose kids had overdue fines. Angry students who couldn't find the resources they needed for research projects. Confused seniors trying to navigate new technology, and impatient professionals who need information quickly during their lunch breaks.
Every interaction taught me something about reading people, de-escalating tension, and finding solutions that worked for everyone involved.
The skills I learned dealing with difficult library patrons became the foundation for every leadership challenge I've faced since: listen first, stay calm, focus on solutions, and remember that most people's frustration isn't really about you.
Lesson #4: Everyone Has a Story Worth Knowing
Working at a library taught me that every person who walks through the door has a story, a struggle, and something valuable to contribute.
I learned that leadership requires curiosity about people, not judgment about their circumstances.
The Leadership Laboratory
The Cleveland Heights Library was my first leadership laboratory. Every shift taught me something about responsibility, service, problem-solving, and human nature.
The head librarian wasn't just managing a library - she was running a community institution that served people from every background, age group, and economic situation. Watching her navigate budget constraints, personnel challenges, technology upgrades, and changing community needs taught me more about leadership than any business book.
She showed me that real leadership isn't about having authority over people, it's about using whatever authority you have to serve others more effectively.
Why This Matters for Mentoring
When I work with young men today, I always ask about their first job experiences. Not because I'm curious about their work history, but because first jobs reveal character in ways that nothing else does.
How did they handle being the new person? How did they respond to criticism? How did they treat customers or coworkers who were difficult? Did they take initiative or wait to be told what to do?
Those early work experiences shape everything that comes afterward. Young men who learn reliability, service, and problem-solving in their first jobs carry those skills into every subsequent opportunity.
Young men who learn to show up, pay attention, and treat everyone with respect at 16 are the ones who become leaders people want to follow at 26, 36, and beyond.
The AFGM Connection
This is why A Few Good MENtors emphasizes the dignity of all honest work. Some of our most successful mentoring relationships happen between young men and adults who work in trades, service industries, and community organizations.
The landscaper teaches work ethic. The restaurant manager teaches customer service. The maintenance supervisor teaches problem-solving, and the retail supervisor teaches team leadership.
These mentors understand something that classroom education sometimes misses: leadership is learned through practice, character is built through challenges, and the most important skills are developed through serving others.
My first job taught me that leadership isn't about being in charge, it's about taking responsibility for making other people's experiences better.
That's still the definition I use today.
📅 Upcoming Events: Join the G-Tribe in Action
Ready to put this week's message about meaningful work into practice? We have two powerful opportunities coming up where you can connect with our community and make a real impact.
Echoes of Freedom: Northern Virginia Black Heritage Tour - September 20th Join us as we explore black historical sites in Northern Virginia on Saturday, September 21st. This educational tour connects our past to our present, uncovering stories of resilience and leadership that shaped our region.
Perfect for educators seeking fresh perspectives, history enthusiasts wanting a deeper understanding, or anyone in the DMV area looking for meaningful weekend activities.
Register today: [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/echoes-of-freedom-northern-virginia-black-heritage-tour-tickets-1533959136069]
Growth Mindset Challenge - Now Open for Registration. Our October challenge focuses on aligning your daily actions with your deepest values. Every Tuesday, I'll provide a 10-15 minute video lesson through our AFGM app, complete with practical assignments you can complete throughout the week.
You'll need to register using the link below and download the AFGM app. Grab a journal and get ready to make these final months of the year your most purposeful yet.
A Labor Day Reflection
As we move deeper into September, remember that your daily work - whether you're in an office, a classroom, a workshop, or anywhere else - is creating your legacy one interaction at a time.
The young men in your family, workplace, and community are watching how you approach your responsibilities, how you treat difficult people, and whether you find purpose in what you do.
Your work ethic, your integrity, and your commitment to serving others through your labor become their roadmap for building their own meaningful careers.
That's how labor becomes legacy - through the example you set and the guidance you provide to the next generation.
Continue to build meaningful lives through purposeful work. Until next Tuesday, keep showing up and keep lifting each other up.
With gratitude for your labor and excitement for your legacy,
Michael
Ready to go deeper? Join A Few Good MENtors as a volunteer mentor, attend our September events, or forward this newsletter to someone who would benefit from joining the G-Tribe. Together, we're creating guidance systems that help young men find work worth doing.
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