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Issue #100 - September 2
Welcome!
Hey G-Tribe! We've reached our 100th newsletter, and honestly, I'm still pinching myself.
When I started this journey, I thought I'd be lucky if fifty people read my random thoughts about life, leadership, and learning every Tuesday morning. Now here we are - one hundred issues later - with a community that spans from Virginia to California, from high school coaches to Fortune 500 executives, all united by one simple belief: guidance really does redefine our way.
This milestone belongs to every one of you. Your shares, your stories, your late-night emails telling me how something in the newsletter changed your perspective, that's what kept me writing when imposter syndrome tried to convince me nobody wanted to hear what I had to say.
But here's what makes this 100th issue extra special. Your support of G.R.O.W. directly impacts A Few Good MENtors, Inc. Every time you forward this newsletter or engage with our content, you're helping us reach more young men who need someone to believe in their potential. That ripple effect is real, and it's changing lives in ways we're just beginning to understand.
September marks a significant focus for both AFGM and our G.R.O.W. community: Navigating Manhood. Through our S.H.I.E.L.D.S. framework, we're diving deep into what it really means to guide young men toward authentic masculinity in a world that's confused about what that even looks like.
This isn't just about masculinity or outdated gender roles. This is about helping young men understand that true strength comes from character, that leadership means lifting others, and that the map to manhood isn't found in social media posts or locker room talk, it's built through core values lived out daily.
Today, we're exploring something every father, coach, teacher, and mentor needs to understand: how do you help a young man become the man he's supposed to be when society keeps changing the definition?
Let's dig in and make this 100th issue one to remember.
🌱 Growth Spotlight: Defining Manhood for the Next Generation
A friend of mine was sitting in a barbershop last month, listening to a conversation that broke his heart and fired him up at the same time.
Three teenage boys were debating what it means "to be a man." One said it meant never backing down from a fight. Another claimed it was about how much money you could make. The third just shrugged and said, "I don't know, man. Nobody talks about this stuff anymore."
That last comment hit like a freight train. Nobody talks about this stuff anymore.
We've gotten so worried about saying the wrong thing about masculinity that we've stopped saying anything meaningful at all. Meanwhile, young men are getting their definition of manhood from social media influencers, rap lyrics, and movie characters, rather than from the men who genuinely care for them.
The Problem With Letting Boys Figure It Out Alone
Here's what happens when we don't intentionally define manhood: young men define it themselves using whatever information is loudest and most accessible.
Instagram tells them manhood is about abs and bank accounts. TikTok suggests dominance and disrespect. Video games present conquest and competition. Dating apps reduce it to swipeability and status symbols.
When that's their only input about masculinity, it creates what some experts call hollow performance masculinity. This is masculinity that looks impressive but crumbles under real pressure.
The Four Pillars of Modern Manhood
Based on conversations with hundreds of men over the past five years, authentic manhood in today's world rests on four core pillars, all built on a foundation of faith:
Foundation of Faith. True manhood begins with understanding that your purpose comes from something greater than yourself. Faith provides the moral compass that guides decision-making, the strength to do what's right when it's difficult, and the humility to recognize you're accountable to God for how you treat others and use your gifts.
Responsibility Over Rights. Real men focus more on what they owe others than what others owe them. They ask "How can I contribute?" before "What's in it for me?" This servant leadership flows from understanding that our abilities are meant to serve God's purposes and bless others.
Emotional Intelligence Over Emotional Suppression. The old model taught men to hide emotions. The new model teaches men to understand and manage emotions effectively, including knowing when they're angry and why, communicating frustration without attacking others, and asking for help when needed. Faith teaches us that emotional maturity honors both God and the people in our lives.
Character Over Charisma. Charisma gets attention. Character builds trust. Real men prioritize who they are when nobody's watching over who they appear to be when everyone's looking. Character is built through daily choices to live according to God's principles, not society's expectations.
Key Takeaways for Guiding Young Men
Create intentional conversations - Don't wait for teachable moments. Ask what they think manhood means and share stories about men you respect
Define success broadly - Help them understand that success includes relationships, character, contribution to others, and peace of mind, not just career and financial gain.
Model vulnerability in strength - Let them see you struggle with decisions, apologize when wrong, and ask for advice. This demonstrates genuine strength, including the courage to be vulnerable and human.
Focus on contribution, not just achievement - Guide them toward using their skills and talents to enhance the lives of others.
Build their preparation systems - Just as with athletic preparation, help them develop systematic approaches to life's challenges.
Connect their strengths to life skills - Young men who excel in sports already possess discipline, teamwork, and resilience; help them apply these skills to other areas.
G-Tribe Community Corner Poll
Alright, G-Tribe, let's celebrate our 100th issue with some fun! We would like to know which type of mentor had the most significant impact on your journey to understanding authentic manhood.
💼 Professional Growth Gateway: Mentorship as a Rite of Passage
Here's something that might surprise you about traditional cultures worldwide. Almost every society throughout history has had formal rites of passage that marked the transition from boyhood to manhood.
Vision quests. Initiation ceremonies. Apprenticeships that lasted for years. Coming-of-age rituals that tested character, skills, and commitment.
Modern American culture has exactly one rite of passage: getting a driver's license.
And we wonder why so many young men struggle with understanding what it means to be a man.
The Mentorship Gap in Modern Masculinity
The Maasai people of Kenya and Tanzania have three traditional rites of passage: Enkipaata, Eunoto, and Olng'esherr. These ceremonies guide young men through structured phases from boyhood to warriorhood to elderhood. Each phase requires demonstrating courage, wisdom, and a commitment to the community before being recognized as ready for the next level.
The process isn't just about individual achievement - it's about proving you can contribute to something bigger than yourself.
Compare that to how most American young men transition into adulthood. They graduate from high school, maybe attend college, get a job, and hope they figure out manhood somewhere along the way.
No formal mentoring process. No community recognition of their growth. No clear markers of when boyhood ends and manhood begins.
That's why mentorship has become our modern rite of passage. In the absence of cultural rituals, individual relationships are filling the gap.
The AFGM Mentorship Blueprint
This is precisely what we're developing at A Few Good MENtors—a structured mentorship approach that creates modern rites of passage for young men. Our vision includes three distinct phases designed to build character, competence, and contribution systematically:
Phase 1: Foundation Building (Months 1-6)
Practical life skills development - budgeting, communication, goal-setting
Faith-based character foundation establishment
Basic self-care and responsibility training
Building confidence through small wins and skill mastery
Phase 2: Character Development (Months 6-12)
Deep conversations about integrity, accountability, and values
Honest, ethical dilemma discussions and decision-making frameworks
Mentor vulnerability - sharing failures and lessons learned
Honest feedback about character blind spots and growth areas
Phase 3: Community Contribution (Months 12-18)
Identifying ways to serve the community and mentor younger people
Using skills for purposes beyond personal advancement
Understanding that manhood is measured by positive impact on others
Transitioning from mentee to mentor mindset
Key Implementation Strategies
Create structured experiences rather than just casual conversations
Measure progress systematically through character development milestones
Build community recognition - celebrate transitions between phases
Focus on multiplication - every mentee becomes a future mentor
Connect to faith foundation - ground all development in biblical principles
The Vision for Replication
Our goal is to create a mentorship model that other organizations can adopt and adapt. When done well, mentorship becomes self-replicating, and young men who receive quality mentoring naturally want to pass it on to others.
This is how movements start: individuals committed to developing others become committed to developing those individuals, who in turn become committed to developing others.
In a culture without formal rites of passage, mentorship has become our pathway from boyhood to manhood. The young men who receive it thrive. The ones who don't often struggle for years trying to figure out what nobody taught them.
The question isn't whether young men need mentorship - it's whether we're going to step up and provide it systematically.
Community Corner: New Mentor Applications Open
AFGM is seeking new mentors in September. We have mentee applications available, and we need a few good men willing to step up and grow the next generation.
You can apply by going to this link: https://afgmentoring.dm.networkforgood.com/forms/mentor-volunteer-form
🔥 Michael's Hot Take: No GPS for Manhood? Make Your Own Map
Hey G-Tribe, we're here at Issue #100, and I'm feeling a range of emotions right now.
I am grateful for this community that has grown beyond anything I imagined when I started writing these Tuesday morning thoughts. Humbled by the stories you share about how these newsletters have impacted your families, your mentoring relationships, and your own personal growth.
But also fired up about something that's been bothering me for months.
We've created a world where young men can Google anything except the most important question they're asking: "How do I become a man?"
Think about it. Your phone can tell you the fastest route to anywhere, warn you about traffic delays, and even suggest better alternatives in real-time. GPS has eliminated the anxiety of getting lost in unfamiliar territory.
But there's no GPS for manhood.
No clear route from boyhood to mature masculinity. No warnings about the obstacles ahead. No voice calmly saying "Recalculating route" when young men make wrong turns.
Instead, we've left them to navigate one of life's most essential transitions using broken compasses and outdated maps.
Here's what I mean. The traditional markers of manhood that worked for previous generations don't apply anymore:
Financial independence? The economy has made that nearly impossible for most young adults
Marriage and family? The average age for both keeps rising, and many young men feel unprepared for either
Military service? Less than 1% of Americans serve in the armed forces today
Following in dad's footsteps career-wise? Most jobs that their fathers had don't exist anymore
Meanwhile, social media presents a version of masculinity that emphasizes performance and appearances over character and contribution.
Young men are trying to navigate toward manhood, using influencer posts, movie characters, and peer pressure as their guidance system.
That's like trying to drive cross-country using only billboard advertisements as your map.
I've seen what happens when young men don't have clear guidance toward authentic manhood. They end up lost in what I call "The Wilderness of Maybe Manhood."
They achieve things that look like success on the surface - good jobs, nice apartments, active dating lives - but feel empty inside because nobody taught them what manhood actually means.
They make decisions based on what they think men are supposed to do, rather than understanding why those decisions matter.
They perform masculinity instead of embodying it.
Making Your Own Map
Here's what I've learned after five years of mentoring and 100 newsletters: if there's no GPS for manhood, we need to make our own maps.
Not perfect maps - we're all still figuring this out. But practical maps based on what we've learned work and what we've seen fail.
Start with Core Values, Not Career Goals
Every young man I know can tell you what job they want or how much money they want to make. Very few can tell you what values they want to live by or what kind of character they want to develop.
But values are your navigation system. They help you make decisions when the path isn't clear, when peer pressure is intense, when temptation is strong.
Define Success Broadly
The old map suggested that manhood was about financial success and providing for one's family. The new map should incorporate emotional intelligence, relationship health, community engagement, and personal growth.
Young men need to understand that the most successful men they know probably define success by their character, their relationships, their peace of mind, and their positive impact on others.
Build Your Own Rites of Passage
Since our culture no longer provides formal transitions from boyhood to manhood, we need to create our own.
This is where mentorship becomes crucial. Every young man needs someone to help him identify when he's ready for greater responsibility, when he's demonstrated character growth, when he's earned the right to be trusted with more freedom.
Create Accountability Systems
GPS works because it constantly monitors your location and provides course corrections when you drift off route. Young men need the same kind of system - people who know their values and goals and can give honest feedback when they're heading in the wrong direction.
The AFGM Mission
This is precisely why A Few Good MENtors exists. We're not trying to create a one-size-fits-all program that turns out cookie-cutter men. We're trying to provide individual navigation support for young men seeking their own path to authentic manhood.
Every young man's journey is different. But every young man needs someone walking alongside him who has already traveled similar terrain.
Through our S.H.I.E.L.D.S. framework this September, we're focusing specifically on Navigating Manhood. We're creating practical tools, honest conversations, and meaningful relationships that help young men build their own maps toward authentic masculinity.
Because here's what I believe with everything in me: the young men who receive quality guidance during their transition to manhood become the fathers, leaders, and mentors who create positive change in their communities.
However, those who navigate this transition alone often spend years trying to figure out what someone should have taught them.
Every adult reading this newsletter has something to contribute to a young man's journey toward authentic manhood. You don't need perfect credentials or a flawless character - you need a willingness to share what you've learned and a commitment to show up consistently.
The young men in your family, community, and workplace are watching how you handle challenges, how you treat people, how you define success, and how you recover from failures.
They're building their own maps to manhood based partly on what they observe from you.
That's both a tremendous responsibility and an incredible opportunity.
The 100th Issue Challenge
As we celebrate our 100th newsletter and look ahead to the next 100, I want to challenge every G-Tribe member to become part of the navigation solution.
Identify one young man in your sphere of influence who could benefit from your guidance. It doesn't have to be formal mentoring - it could be regular conversations, sharing your experiences, or simply being someone they can come to for advice.
Share your story of how you learned to navigate manhood. What worked? What didn't? What do you wish someone had taught you earlier?
Support organizations like AFGM that are working to provide navigation support for young men who don't have it naturally in their lives.
Because in a world without GPS, we need to become each other's guidance systems.
That's how we change the trajectory for the next generation - one relationship, one conversation, one young man at a time.
100 issues down. Here's to 100 more of building the kind of men who make our communities better.
Let's GO!
Upcoming Events: Join the G-Tribe
Ready to put this week's message about preparation and community building into action? We've got two powerful opportunities coming up.
Echoes of Freedom: Northern Virginia Black Heritage Tour - September 21st
Join us as we explore black historical sites in Northern Virginia on Saturday, September 21st. This isn't just another historical tour - we're diving deep into the stories that textbooks missed, uncovering the legacy of resilience that shaped our region.
Perfect for educators seeking fresh perspectives to bring into their classrooms, history enthusiasts eager to uncover hidden stories, or anyone in the DMV area looking for an experience that truly matters.
Register today: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/echoes-of-freedom-northern-virginia-black-heritage-tour-tickets-1533959136069
Growth Mindset Challenge - Starting September
Mission fails when alignment fails. To be your best self, you need to align yourself with God's word.
In September, let's work on our growth and subscribe to my free course. Every Tuesday, I will post a 10- to 15-minute video on our AFGM app. You can view it during the week and complete the assignments.
You will need to register by clicking on the link below. Additionally, you will need to download the AFGM app from your app store and obtain a journal to work on the assignment. Let's make the last few months the best of the year.
🏈 Join the AFGM Gridiron Challenge and add some fun to your football season while making a difference! Each week, you’ll pick NFL winners in a friendly competition with our AFGM community. It’s free to join, and with a suggested donation of $20 for the season or $5 per month, your participation helps us continue mentoring and supporting youth who need consistent guidance. Sign up today at poolhost.com using Pool ID #109587 and Password: AFGM2025—and turn your game-day passion into purpose!
A Milestone Thank You
As we reach our 100th issue, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for this community that has grown around our shared commitment to guidance that redefines our way.
Your engagement with these newsletters directly impacts A Few Good MENtors' ability to reach and serve young men who need positive male influence in their lives. Every share, every conversation these newsletters spark, every person who decides to become a mentor because of something they read here - that's the ripple effect that changes lives.
This September, as we focus on Navigating Manhood, we're not just writing about concepts - we're providing practical tools and real relationships that help young men build their own maps toward authentic masculinity.
Issue #101 launches our next century of growth, guidance, and community building. Thank you for being part of this journey.
Until next Tuesday, keep growing and keep lifting each other up.
With deep gratitude and excitement for what's ahead,
Michael
Ready to go deeper? Join A Few Good MENtors as a volunteer mentor, attend our September events, or forward this newsletter to someone who would benefit from joining the G-Tribe. Together, we're creating the guidance systems that help young men navigate toward authentic manhood.
