GROW: The Power of Cross-Gender Mentorship

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Issue #74 - March 4, 2025

Welcome to G.R.O.W.!

Hey there! Welcome to your weekly dose of G.R.O.W. - Guidance Redefines Our Way! As we kick off Women's History Month, I've been thinking about something that's transformed my leadership journey: the influential impact women mentors have had on my career and personal growth.

True story: In 2015, when volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS), I noticed a critical need for more male mentorship in our community. I knew I could easily connect with young men, but reaching parents and community leaders was different.

That's when I contacted the Executive Director of the Capital Region BBBS at the time. She was a veteran nonprofit executive who saw something in my passion and took me under her wing. Her approach to relationship-building wasn't just different from mine—it was precisely what I needed to learn.

"Michael," she told me during our conversations, "you're trying to build connections like business transactions. Community work is about weaving relationships, thread by thread." That insight changed how I approached AFGM's outreach when I eventually founded it.

This month, we're celebrating women's contributions to leadership and mentorship. This is not just because it's Women's History Month, but because we can all gain incredible wisdom when we open ourselves to learning across gender lines. Men mentoring women, women mentoring men—these cross-gender relationships bring perspectives we can't get elsewhere.

So whether you're a mentor, a mentee, or both (as most of us are), I invite you to consider how diverse perspectives strengthen leadership. Let's dive in!

Growth Spotlight: She Leads, He Follows: The Power of Cross-Gender Mentorship

The leadership landscape is evolving, and our understanding of effective mentorship is growing. This week, we explore a powerful but often overlooked dynamic: cross-gender mentorship, particularly women leaders mentoring men.

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon has spoken openly about his mentor, Judy Rosenblum's profound impact on his career trajectory. As Chief Learning Officer at Duke Corporate Education, Rosenblum helped Dimon develop strategic thinking and emotional intelligence skills that have become hallmarks of his leadership style.

"Judy taught me to listen first, decide second," Dimon noted in a 2022 interview with Harvard Business Review. "That single piece of advice transformed how I lead teams and make decisions."

This isn't an isolated example. Research from the Center for Creative Leadership found that cross-gender mentoring relationships deliver unique benefits:

• Broader perspective development: Men mentored by women report 37% higher scores in empathetic leadership.

• Enhanced communication skills: Cross-gender mentorship improves communication adaptability by 42%.

• Expanded network diversity: These relationships expand professional networks beyond typical gender-segregated circles.

• Reduced unconscious bias: Regular cross-gender mentorship decreases unconscious gender bias by 31% over one year.

Take David Almeida, Starbucks's Chief Operating Officer. His mentorship relationship with former Starbucks executive Rosalind Brewer (now CEO of Walgreens Boots Alliance) helped shape his approach to operational leadership. "Roz showed me how to bring a human-centered approach to operations," Almeida shared during a 2023 leadership conference. She taught me that efficiency without empathy misses the whole point of what we do."

What makes these relationships so transformative? The magic happens at the intersection of different lived experiences.

Dr. Ella Bell Smith, a Dartmouth's Tuck School of Business professor and author of Career GPS, explains: "Women often develop leadership skills in contexts where they've had to navigate bias and institutional barriers. This cultivates strategic relational skills, adaptive communication styles, and creative problem-solving approaches that can be invaluable lessons for men in leadership."

For organizations looking to start cross-gender mentorship, successful programs share several key characteristics:

1. Clear intention setting: The most successful programs establish clear goals while allowing relationships to develop organically.

2. Focus on skill complementarity: Pairing based on complementary skills rather than just titles or departments.

3. Structured unstructured time: Regular meetings with flexible agendas allow authentic relationship building.

4. Mutual learning emphasis: Both participants enter with a learner's mindset.

5. Leadership championing: Senior leadership must visibly participate and endorse these initiatives.

The payoff for organizations is enormous. McKinsey's "Women in the Workplace" study found that companies with cross-gender mentorship programs show 23% higher rates of women in leadership positions and report 27% stronger financial performance.

Want to put this into practice? Start by challenging the assumption that mentors should "look like" their mentees. The most valuable insights often come from those with different perspectives and experiences. This Women's History Month, consider how cross-gender mentorship might enhance your leadership journey—whether you're serving as a mentor, seeking a mentor, or creating mentorship opportunities for others.

Professional Growth Gateway: Allyship & Advocacy Skills

Ready to improve your allyship skills? This month's Professional Growth Gateway focuses on concrete skills that transform good intentions into action. Whether you're mentoring women in your field or creating more inclusive spaces, these practical approaches will help you move from support to active advocacy.

Active Listening That Actually Works

Beyond just "hearing words," active listening is about creating space for others' experiences—particularly important in cross-gender mentorship:

• Practice the 80/20 rule: In conversations about challenges or barriers, aim to listen 80% of the time and speak 20%.

• Check assumptions at the door: Begin conversations with: "Help me understand your experience with..."

• Confirm understanding: "What I'm hearing is... Is that accurate?"

• Note patterns: Listen across multiple conversations to identify systemic issues versus isolated incidents.

Dr. Adam Grant, organizational psychologist at Wharton, notes: "The most effective allies spend twice as much time listening as they do proposing solutions. Understanding precedes advocacy."

Strategic Amplification Techniques

Developed by women staffers in the Obama White House, amplification is the practice of publicly reinforcing others' contributions:

• Echo with attribution: "As Sarah pointed out earlier, the client feedback suggests..."

• Create space: "I'd like to hear Jasmine's thoughts on this before we move forward."

• Connect ideas to originators: "This builds on Maria's initial proposal from last month."

• Follow up offline: "Your point about user testing was spot-on. I wanted to discuss how we might implement that."

Former White House advisor Valerie Jarrett notes that this approach reduced idea appropriation and increased women's participation in key policy discussions by nearly 40%.

Effective Bystander Intervention

Developed by educator Jackson Katz, bystander intervention transforms workplace culture by distributing responsibility:

• The "Hey, can we pause?" technique: Create a moment to reset conversation dynamics.

• Redirect with questions: "I'm curious—what experience is informing that perspective?"

• Private follow-up: "I noticed that meeting dynamic was challenging. How can I better support next time?"

• Culture setting: Establish team norms that make intervention expected, not exceptional.

Research from MIT's Sloan School shows that, when implemented with leadership support, bystander training reduces workplace harassment incidents by 46% over two years.

Pro Tip: Allyship is a practice, not a destination.

The most effective allies regularly assess their impact: "Am I creating more access? Are my actions leading to measurable change? Am I listening to feedback about how my efforts are received?"

Ready to put this into action? Start with a simple audit of your last month of meetings. Who spoke most? Whose ideas gained traction? Who received credit? This baseline helps you identify specific opportunities to practice these skills in your daily work.

Remember: Allyship skills benefit everyone. The communication techniques that make you a better gender ally make you a better leader, period.

Success Spotlight: Thasunda Brown Duckett

This week's Success Spotlight shines on Thasunda Brown Duckett, President and CEO of TIAA, a Fortune 100 financial services organization managing over $1.3 trillion in assets. When she took the helm in May 2021, Duckett became only the fourth Black woman to lead a Fortune 500 company—a powerful testament to her exceptional leadership and pioneering spirit.

Duckett's path wasn't handed to her. Growing up in Texas with parents who emphasized education despite financial challenges, she worked through the University of Houston and later earned her MBA from Baylor University. Her career trajectory included leadership roles at Fannie Mae, JPMorgan Chase & Co., and now TIAA, where she's revolutionizing how Americans think about financial security.

What makes Duckett's leadership style particularly relevant to our discussion of cross-gender mentorship is her deliberate approach to developing leaders around her. She created the "Currency Conversations" program at JPMorgan Chase to help Black women achieve financial health. This initiative expanded into a national movement focused on closing the wealth and confidence gaps often preventing women from taking control of their financial futures.

"Financial health isn't just about numbers—it's about creating possibilities," Duckett explained in a 2023 interview with Fortune. "When we empower people with financial knowledge, we're opening doors not just for them but for generations to follow."

Duckett's leadership philosophy centers on "bringing your authentic self to the table." This approach has made her particularly effective as a mentor to both men and women in the financial industry, where authenticity hasn't traditionally been emphasized as a leadership trait.

Marcus Williams, who worked under Duckett's leadership at JPMorgan Chase and now serves as a Senior Vice President at TIAA, credits her mentorship style with transforming his approach to leadership. "Thasunda taught me that vulnerability isn't weakness—it's the foundation of authentic leadership," Williams noted in a 2024 interview with Black Enterprise. "She showed me how to lead with both strength and humanity."

Her impact extends beyond her direct reports. Duckett founded the Rosie and Otis Brown Foundation, named after her parents, which supports programs promoting financial literacy, college access, and career preparedness. Her work has been recognized with numerous accolades, including being named one of Fortune's Most Powerful Women and appearing on Barron's 100 Most Influential Women in Finance.

What can we learn from Duckett's approach to mentorship and leadership?

1. Authenticity creates connection. Duckett doesn't separate her personal story from her professional identity, which creates deeper mentor relationships.

2. Financial empowerment is a leadership issue. By focusing on financial health, she addresses a foundational element of professional development.

3. Cross-industry perspective matters: Her experience across different sectors strengthens her strategic vision.

4. Mentorship creates legacy: Through her foundation and leadership programs, she's building sustainable change.

As we celebrate Women's History Month, Duckett's journey reminds us that leadership excellence knows no gender. Her willingness to mentor across gender lines and share her authentic story has created professional success and a meaningful impact that will outlast her career.

Michael's Hot Take: When Will "Are We Ready?" Stop Being the Question?

So I just read an article by Kevin Booker Jr. asking if America is ready for a woman president. And honestly, I'm wondering when we'll stop having to ask this question altogether.

Get this - women have only been able to vote for about 100 years. Women of color? Just 59 years. Women couldn't even get their own credit cards until 1974. And somehow in 2025, we're still debating whether women are "ready" for the Oval Office.

Here's what kills me. We rarely ask if men are "ready" for leadership. Nobody's sitting around wondering if that new male CEO has the emotional intelligence to handle tough decisions. But when a woman runs for office, suddenly everyone becomes an expert on "readiness" and "electability."

The article pointed out that only 10.4% of CEOs in Fortune 500 companies are women—52 out of 500. At this rate of progress, we might achieve equality sometime around the year 3000. I'm exaggerating, but only slightly.

Let's be real for a minute. The article noted that in 1973, women earned 56.6 cents to a man's dollar. Today? A whopping 84 cents. That's like bragging that you finally got that F up to a C- after 50 years of studying.

What I found most telling was how people perceived "strong leadership" in the 2024 election. According to exit polls, only 45% saw Harris as a "strong leader" while 55% saw Trump that way. Yet when Biden ran in 2020, the perception was nearly equal at 50%. Same party, same policies, different gender. Coincidence? I think not.

I'm not saying gender was the only factor in the election. Policy differences, campaign strategies, and countless other variables were involved. But we keep asking "Is America ready?" instead of "Why aren't we ready yet?" We're asking the wrong question.

As Senator Cory Booker said in the article, we need to ensure "everyone will have a seat at the table and not be on the menu." In my humble opinion, we're long past when we should debate who deserves a seat.

So here's my hot take: Maybe instead of questioning whether we're "ready" for women leaders, we should ask why, after all these years, we're still having this conversation at all.

This is just my two cents, which, adjusted for the gender pay gap, would be about 1.68 cents if I were a woman.

Upcoming Events

Echo of Freedom Tour

• Date: April 5, 2025

• Duration: 4 hours

• The Echoes of Freedom Tour is a guided journey through Northern Virginia, uncovering the rich and often untold history of African American resilience, activism, and community-building. This immersive experience takes participants to key historical sites, including early freedmen settlements, civil rights landmarks, and educational institutions that shaped Black history in the region. The tour connects the past to the present through storytelling, reflection, and engagement, ensuring these vital narratives inspire future generations.

• If you are interested in joining us on this journey to learn about little-known history in Northern Virginia, click here.

S.H.I.E.L.D.S. Program Launch

• Coming in April 2025

• Women's Leadership Panel: April 6, 2025

• Stay tuned for full schedule!

New Mentor Training Course (NMTC 25-02)

• Applications open March 15, 2025

• Training will be April 26, 2025

• Open to both new and experienced AFGM Mentors

Men's Bowling Event with Word Alive Church International

• Date: March 15, 2025

• Location: Strike Zone Lanes, Springfield

• Time: 7:00 PM - 10:00 PM

• Register by March 10!

Word Alive Church International

• Looking for a church home? Visit WACI!

• Location: 8517 Rixlew Lane, Manassas, VA

• Sunday Services: 10:30 AM

• Mention Michael from A Few Good MENtors, Inc.!

Closing Thoughts

The strength of any organization lies in its ability to incorporate diverse perspectives. As we celebrate women's contributions to leadership and mentorship this month, I challenge us to step outside our comfort zones. Seek out mentors with different experiences. Listen more than you speak. Create opportunities for voices unlike your own.

True growth happens at the edges of our understanding—where what we know meets what we have yet to learn. By embracing cross-gender mentorship, we're not just honoring women's contributions; we're becoming more complete leaders ourselves.

Until next Tuesday, Michael